LOVE???

when i found love...
it's different than i expected.
sure happiness rushes in...
you can't help but be cautious...
in such a way.
you want it to last.
it is something to preserve.
something to protect.
AHH FUCK.
you ever realized how hard it is to play the original xbox after 2 months with the 360?
not to mention going back to a buggy controller?
HOLY FUCK.
you feel like...
you're weak.
like you have leukemia.
no hair.
little kid sitting in a hospital bed.
charlie...
they took my thumb.
it's fucking flib flab tastically GAY.
everything feels slowed down.
go ahead.
go play halo anniversary for the 360.
now.
go back and play halo for the orginal sex box.
you have cancer, right?
JEEZ!!!
fuck this.
i'm out!

THOUGHT PROCESS

places.

what are places.

do you go to them?

do you flee to them?

flee from?

is it a memory?

a bad?

perhaps a good.

or even great.

do you leave them?

do they try to leave your mind?

are they connections with certain memories?

connections with other people?

when you say...

i can't wait to leave this place.

why?

it is irrational to dislike a physical location.

unless a place is more than a physical location.

is it?

do you no longer wish to be somewhere because of someone?

can someone take your enjoyment of a place from you?

a place is most likely special.

not just a location.

but a memory.

memory - the power of a human, or other sentient species, to remember.

is there no power to forget?

where is that power?

can we not simply...

forget.

no.

that is irrational.

if we had the power to just forget...

we could not exist.

we need to remember.

the achievements.

and the mistakes.

we learn from our errors.

or our ignorance will remind us.

the power to forget is a nightmare.

people say they can forget.

they pretend.

they are fools.

saying that a horrible thing didn't happen...

or saying that you have no recollection of it...

it is not forgetting.

it is denial.

you have forgotten the past?

you live in the present?

denial.

[END THOUGHT PROCESS]

TONIGHT IS A GOOD NIGHT

well... 

i really don't know any of you people.

you don't really know what i'm talking about in my rants.

they aren't really organized verbal assaults, anyways.

so they are random i suppose.

just got back from a metal concert at peabody's concert club.

huntress, battlecross, then AMON FUCKING AMARTH.

children of bodom backed out at the last minute.

still a great show.

listening to some dimmu borgir right now...

holy fucking mayor McCheese... 

agnete's fucking vocal appearance in gateways...

fuck me sideways with a whorespawn toaster from the netherworld.

fucking toasters.

you know something?

those fucking things where around 10 fucking years before the bread slicer.

10 fucking years.

we wanted to burn our toast years and years before slicing it ourselves was too much of an incon-fucking-venience to invent a gizmo-fuckin'-gadget to do it for us?

what kind of hell was that?

trying to cut your bread to the correct specifications so that it would be fit to be TOASTED?

shit.

where's my fucking schematic for the bread!?!?!?! 

holy fuck.

some little bastardspawn better find my GOD-DAMNED DIAGRAM!!!
I NEED MY FUCKING TOAST.
shit.

shit.

shit.

where is it?

no TOAST?!?!?!

no toast before work?

that's like... 

hell...

coca-cola without trace amounts of cocaine!!!

CA-CA-CA-COCAINE!!!
that will replace my toast for today.

then i'll quit tomorrow.

i swear.

one time deal.

BECAUSE YOU'RE A WHORE!!!
THAT'S WHY.
little bitch.

i'm the man of the house.

don't need explain myself to you.

i'll beat you like a future man, named chris brown, beats his lady.

we'll be driving one day.

BAM!!! 

right in your fucking bacon hole.

i'll make the kids in the car next to us WATCH.

gettin' 1930s in this bitch.

i will bury you.

nobody will miss you.

as if you never existed.

i will erase you like a SHAM-WOW erases a stain on a counter-top.

erased.

i will cleanse this earth of your existence like hitler did with most of the jews.

you will nazi me coming.

anne frankly...

you will not be missed.

no seriously.

i will fucking kill you.

dead.

D-E-A-D.
fucking DEAD.

red. red. red.

the color of your freshly spilt blood on a tarp.

you're done.