10 Signs of a Cheater

FOR FUN. NON-SERIOUS.

in response to http://bit.ly/Theyarecheating
cheaters beware! we know how to get you now.
thanks technology!

10 signs of a cheater.
edited for the real fucking world.

#10 - I love you
if anyone has ever stopped saying "i love you" more than 20 times a day...
they are cheating on you. 
that's right.
all those days in your teen years.
mommy was cheating on you.
so is your girlfriend now.
guess who.
my penis inside her.

#9 - Gifts
gifts are okay and sometimes... necessary? what the fuck? any ways. okay sometimes necessary, 
but an unusually high amount of them doesn't indicate love...
they are definitely cheating on you.
that's right you little bitch.
santa is cheating on you.
you are a filthy whore that he empties his jingle balls in to.
whore.

#8 - Gut feeling
remember back in grade school on the playground? you'd get butterflies in your stomach,
while giving head under the jungle gym? that wasn't cum going down your 11 year old throat, 
that was instinct saying he is the one.
you probably aren't married now to that person, 
but if you are and are getting butterflies...
they are cheating on you.
you are inadequate to satisfy their needs.
and are garbage in their eyes.
kill yourself.
you made them cheat.
you pathetic excuse for a something or another.

#7 - Defensive
know how all of you get angry when people accuse you of something you did over and over, 
until you said i did it, even thought there is a clear understanding? you are on the right track...
of getting dumped. 
let's hope they are cheating on you.
so you don't feel dumb AND alone when it doesn't work out.
because you kept poking until the delusions you wanted came out.
or they left your sorry ass for the neutral party.
you fuck up.

#6 - Unusual cell phone habits
you fucking retards with your gamma-ray phones and shit. 
if your partner is using one other than for talking.
to you.
they are cheating.
are they texting?
cheater.
cell phones are for talking ONLY, not Affronted Avians.

#5 - Conflicting stories
can't get there shit straight when talking to you about their day?
they are either listening to lil wayne(dump them) or...
they are cheating one you.
humans don't make mistakes.
cheating isn't a mistake.
it's a choice.
to get with someone better than you.
and as long as they are around, you are NOTHING.

#4 - New tricks in bed
by now you two have a routine in bed, and is boring as hell.
you both know this.
are they trying to gyrate more frequently or energetically?
making you wear a paper bag during?
maybe trying to slip you a brown pinkie? 
slapping you in the face with their penis?
or even trying to passionately trying to kiss your neck,
on the OTHER side of your neck?
this is a definite sign that they are cheating on you.
no. they aren't trying to keep it interesting. 
i am just teaching them new things.
while we cheat on you.
because you are not worthy of their love.
you are trash.

#3 - Overtime
this is the most ultimate sign of cheating. 
when they work overtime provide for you and the relationship...
they are cheating.
that's it.
game over.
they don't love you any more.

#2 - Opposite sex friends
now that you both are dating, everyone is out to get you.
if they have anyone of the opposite sex close to them, 
they are cheating. keep an eye on that mother of his.
is he kissing his guy friend passionately?
don't worry.
it's fine.
but that skank tabitha is a whore.
even though you were born with her,
she wants your man's seed in her.
watch them hoes.

#1 - Looks
if either person so much as showers, they are cheating.
looks are NOT, i repeat, NOT important to a relationship.
not important, because he chose you.
and you are trash.
trash before, trash after.